Mike Swafford's Blog
Like A Champ
Where Things Stand Now
Here’s an update of where things are with my cancer. To recap if you came to the party late here, I have prostate cancer and had the prostate removed but they didn’t get all of the cancer because there was cancer under the prostate against the wall of the bladder. There’s multiple areas that are not growing quickly but I can’t leave them in there forever.
I had good news from the standpoint that my PSA hasn’t started to rise yet. If it had I wouldn’t be able to hold off on radiation. However, it’s good that I can hold off on the radiation treatments because I’m not finished healing yet. In particularly my incontinence is a thing plus other things have to improve as well. The easiest way to explain it for me is that when they do radiation that basically freezes everything the way I am now. I won’t improve after that. I don’t want to dribble pee the rest of my life as well as the other things I would have to live with.
So Mayo has agreed that I will be fine to do my future radiation treatments here. That means the next step is to start the process of meeting with the doctors and radiologists here in Rapid. (I hope they are as fun with me as the female radiologist at Mayo was after she asked if I had been exposed to radiation previously and I said that I had been really drunk once and stood in front of the microwave too long. She was awesome and said it didn’t count but told me a few crazy radiation stories) In 3 months I will have my next PSA test here locally and get checked again to see if I have had improvement where I need to improve. Then we take it from there on how long it may be before I would start the radiation.
One last note. I am a young guy. I always feel like a young guy because I want to have fun and have a good time which I equate with being young regardless of how you try to measure the term “young” with years. They forget that in my meetings sometimes because they are used to dealing with men who have prostate cancer in their 70’s and 80’s. So when they talk about still having cancer but there is a good chance I have 5 or even ten years before it would metastasize and kill me they must be forgetting that I’m not in my 70’s or 80’s yet and I am leaning toward wanting to be around long enough to reach that age. As I’ve said before, I’ve had the heart attack, sleep apnea, diabetes, cancer and the list goes on but I’m too much of an ass be snuffed out before I can offend more people over the years to come.
“Enjoy every sandwich” – Warren Zevon
Clips From Mike In The Afternoon
I grew up just outside of Kansas City and started in radio when I was 15 years old in high school. I worked at stations in Kansas City on the air and then moved on to become a General Manager at stations in Central Missouri followed by stations at Lake of The Ozarks and Truman Lake in Missouri.
A head hunter contacted me and I ended up coming to Rapid City, South Dakota. First as the General Sales Manager for Haugo Broadcasting at KSKY and then the stations they purchased KICK and KTOQ.
The one time I stepped away from radio was to be a manager at the Sears store in Rapid City while I was sitting out a non-compete.
I got back into radio when I was asked to be a part of putting Q 92-3 on the air and do the morning show. It was Mike and Kim on the Q Morning Crew. I stayed there until I went to Hits 102-7 to put it on the air in 2008 for Connoisseur Media. I did the morning show and was the General Manager of the station for Connoisseur Media and made several trips to New York for some awesome managers meetings. I continued in those positions when the streaming service Pandora bought the station and enjoyed some great trips to Oakland and San Francisco for leadership meetings there. The friends I made there are still some of my best friends today.
When Haugo bought Hits from Pandora two years ago I returned to the company that brought me here when I first moved to South Dakota and I moved into the afternoon show so I could start sleeping in.
My cancer journey began a couple of years ago when I started having unexplained bruising, weight loss, and other symptoms that had all the signs of leukemia. In the process of going to doctors they noticed my PSA was high for my prostate. I told Trina and the doctors that between leukemia and prostate cancer that I wanted to hope for the prostate cancer. Lucky me! They have never been able to explain the leukemia symptoms as they started to go away but as they focused on the prostate it turned out to be more than they thought. That’s how it went at every step of the way. They didn’t expect me to have prostate cancer locally and so they didn’t take as many samples when they did the biopsy. It didn’t seem like it was a big deal until I started getting tests done at Mayo that weren’t done here and found that not only could I not ignore the cancer and see if it would spread, I needed to get it out right away. Then after they took it out not only was it a bigger deal than they thought locally but the cancer was 70% of my prostate and my prostate was small and not only was it 70% of my prostate but it had indeed gone beyond the prostate so removing my prostate did not end my journey. I now have to go back to Mayo and work with their radiology team to set a plan moving forward. The next step was more tests to see if removing the prostate slowed the growth of the cancer. I just got the results at the first part of October of 2019 and the cancer has slowed but I have to continue healing and improve before I can start radiation which looks like will happen in 2020.
Over the years I have enjoyed being a part of some great organizations that have helped a lot of people here in the Black Hills. It’s amazing the giving that the community has done and the awesome people who make it possible have been some of the nicest people I’ve ever dealt with. I’ve met the people who work with Make A Wish, cancer organizations, YFS, Big Brothers and Big Sisters, Lifescape, Ups of Downs, Black Hills Works, and many others are the ones I respect. The kids and adults they work with who deal with their disabilities are the real heroes of this area and their smiles and positive attitudes are what I admire. It’s what makes me feel unworthy of getting help because I’ve seen the ones who truly need help.
Even though I know my show streams online every weekday afternoon from the Hits 102-7 website, I’m aware that people don’t have a chance to catch the show. Especially if you’re a friend in another state or perhaps one of my worldly friends in Australia, New Zealand, Germany, France, Finland, Canada, or Norway. Sounds impressive until I realize I only have one friend in each of those countries except France where a whopping three friends live.
On this page I will post some classic personal clips like when Trina and I first started dating as well as when I made my cancer reveal on the air. Then I will post current shows followed by some I will post from the past.
Recaps and Updates
I am not sure where to begin to try and catch up. The easiest start is by saying thank you to everyone that has been there to volunteer, donate and support me.
Trina is of course the obvious one without a doubt. The sacrifices she has made and continues to make which are not only monetarily but hugely the mental ones putting up with me and the unknown at every turn.
Those that helped with the benefit are more than I can remember but for sure can recognize Sherra, Crystal, Tiff, Tim & Brenda, Marissa, Melissa & Tim, Skye, Keagan, LaDonna, Amanda, Leah Z and some I didn’t even know about so forgive me for not acknowledging.
It was a huge success because of everyone that volunteered but also those that donated items for the silent auction along with those that bought the silent auction items and participated in the 50/50. Thanks to Butch for donating his portion of the winnings from the 50/50 back to the benefit. With those things along with direct donations (I didn’t know how to respond to that) there was just over $2,000 which I used to pay on the medical bills I have accumulated. Specifically I was able to pay the final payment from the first biopsy done locally along with the original urologist bill. My local doctor bill. Plus money toward my multiple Mayo bills. (The anesthesiologist and other charges are separate from the general Mayo bill) My appointments are all out of network so I get to pay $50 for all my 15 minutes appointments for my co-pay for the follow ups I just had. So after I cashed out the 401k and paid what I could with that everyone’s contributions have helped knock down my balance after insurance to under $8,000. Of course insurance starts again at the first of the year before I have to do about $25,000 worth of radiation for next year!
There was a glitch in the accounting of meals at Sickies may not have been credited to the benefit from the rewards cards as I’ve been told that the amount they came up with was $200. I’ll consider that toward the gas and hotel from Mayo visit last week.
I can’t thank everyone enough that has donated their time, money, and effort.
Mike’s Cancer Posse
I’ll start with some pictures from the event. Come back for updates as I will follow up with details about all of the fabulous people who volunteered and donated along with the businesses in addition to Sickies who helped make it a great success.
I’m trying to reach out and get more pictures from those who were there.
Enjoy these photos and like I said come back for updates when I have a chance to add more photos and details to go with the pics I have hastily put up.
My Farmers Only Subscription
I was looking at my bank account the other day And I noticed in the pending transactions there was about to be a charge for $29.00 from farmersonly dot com. I would never use them even if I were single or if I were looking at cheating because their commercials are so dumb I would not use them on that principle alone.
I thought it was gonna be easy. I’d just call my bank and let him know it wasn’t me. Instead they said they have to block my card. I didn’t want to have to do that since my wallet was stolen in June, I just now got my permanent card last week for the next 2 years. I just set up all of my accounts that are associated with the card for the second time in 3 months this past week and now none of them are going to work.
I will have to get a temporary card and set up all those accounts again and then in 2 months when I get the permanent card I can do it all over again. Actually, whenever it happened and I said that to the person helping me she said I would actually have to wait till the next day because of the machine is down to make temporary cards.
I’m pretty sure the girl at the bank didn’t believe me and I don’t blame her. Who is going to steal my account and then use it for farmersonly dot com. Even a chia pet makes more sense but Farmers Only? Don’t you have to link that to your name? I guess they could use a fake name and say it’s for me but my good buddy Mike Swafford is going to pay for it.
I was telling my friend at the bank about this and come to find out they did need to stop and block my account because it seems that there were several prior to that that were attempted but were caught by either the bank or by one of the other dating websites. I guess they must have figured that it would be reasonable that I would be signing up for dating sites. It would have had to have happened recently after just getting my permanent card and some loser that either used a skimmer or stole my number from an online purchase. Instead of buying something cool they went for the dating websites. I had another person explain to me that what they’re actually doing is seeing if you catch a small purchase so that if they can get it to go through then they’ll do the big purchase.
Perhaps Farmers Only was behind this because they need to scam some credit cards to pay for some more of those quality commercials they produce with all the fake good looking girls and buff guys. When they ran a commercial bragging about the marriages that were the result of being on Farmers Only they had couples that were pretty sloppy that wouldn’t compell anyone to use their site. I don’t think they run those anymore. You’re probably thinking I know too much about Farmers Only and figure I really did sign up for their website. I didn’t!! Well played though.
Still Have Cancer…So I’m Cancer Boy
They were not able to get all the cancer so even after the surgery I’m still Cancer Boy instead of the guy formerly known as Cancer Boy.
Here’s what happened with the procedure and what’s been going in the last couple of weeks.
First after the pre op appointment on Monday they wanted to do x-rays to see if I could still have the surgery because of a cough and back pain.
The day of the surgery I went in at 11 a.m. but surgery didn’t happen until late afternoon because a previous surgery went long. I was there unable to eat or drink for nearly 24 hours since I had to start fasting the night before.
I guess if I were a woman I would not have “good birthing hips”. The doctor told the family after surgery and noted in the post op notes that I had a really small pelvic area. It meant the area to work with was made difficult because it was cramped. They made 5 incisions across my stomach to insert the robotic tools to cut away the prostate. So the surgery took longer and they also had to insert more air into my stomach to create more room for the tools to work. That meant some extreme gas pains for the next few days of recovery.
The next thing I remember was waking up in recovery and the nurse was telling me I had to take deep breathes on my own. Because of my apnea I stopped breathing every couple of minutes. After awhile I was able understand what was going on because there were alarms long off every time I woke. She explained the alarm was going off when I would stop breathing for an extended period of time. I was in pain and wanted to get out of there. Then it scared the shit out of me when I woke and the alarm was blaring and she was holding my chin and saying “I need some help over here”. I was starting to get a grasp then as she said “every time that alarm goes off it’s 30 minutes longer before you can leave post op”. I started taking deep breaths each time I would almost drift off. I told her that I understood it was like Pavlov’s Dog and I would start responding each time I heard it. So next time it went off I started barking. At first she though I was trying to say something through the mask and then she realized what I was doing and said “Good boy”
The next few days were a haze because I was in constant pain. Didn’t remember some of the stuff that I posted or some of the text messages I had.
The catheter pain was every thing I was afraid it would be. Constant tugging and just laying in the hotel bed with nurse Trina emptying the bag every hour or two. I didn’t read books, watch movies, or do anything I swore I would be able to do while I recovered. When I had my heart attack exactly three years ago I was tired all the time but did not have pain. I underestimated what this was going to be like because this was pain from the catheter and pain all across my stomach where the 5 incisions were. Nothing but pain and since some assholes decided to create the opioid epidemic they no longer hand them out like candy.
I wasn’t expecting the call from the pathologist for a few more days and I could tell from his delivery that he was starting with positive things but there was going to be a “however” to follow. The tumor took up 70 % of my prostate. It did not spread to the lymph nodes…. “however” it did escape and attach to the bladder wall,
Next step was having the catheter removed. It felt every bit as it looks in the Dumb and Dumber scene.
Now I am training to go potty all on my own like a big boy! My wife bought my some rockin diapers that look like sporty underwear. It’s going really well as I’m already learning to try and control it. The only mistake was waiting to long when we started the trip home and the pain took my to my knees in the parking lot as I got out to go. I might have done some damage so I made a vow to go every time before I think I need to.
I can’t lift over 10lbs for another 6 weeks. Do know what’s more than ten pounds? EVERYTHING. It includes not opening doors like the one at the hotel pool that was on a pressure lock or something and needs about 75 lbs of force. It was really hard watching Trina load the car with two weeks of our stuff and my moms while I stood back and couldn’t help. I can’t ride a bike or sit on a riding mower o r anything.
The next step is to heal for the next 3 months. I have to work at following all my orders to not mess up my innards so it doesn’t affect the next stage. 3 months is when I have to go back for my follow up tests and meet with the radiology team about the cancer on my bladder wall. The tests and those meetings determine when I would start radiation treatment from there.
I can’t possibly thank my friends and family enough. It’s sounds so cliche until you’re the one that has to say it and mean it.
Pee or Apple Juice
The only way I could tell this is a pic of my apple juice and not my pee is that I pee an incredible amount and if it were only that one cup for a sample there would be extra pee and towels all over that table.
When I had my heart attack and told them I could possible overflow a whole urine container they thought I was exaggerating until the cute nurse was holding it while I was peeing and said “Oh God you weren’t kidding this is full are you almost done” I said “no” as I could feel it rising to the top and starting to tilt as she was almost dropping it because of the weight and to keep it from spilling. From then on there were two containers for when I had to pee.
After my biopsy at Mayo and I peed after being brought back post op, they needed more for some reason and they were worried about whether I would be able to go again already and Kaelyn my favorite nurse put some weird device on my stomach that showed a bunch of yellow on her screen and said “wow, you still have a lot in there” I promptly went back in and gave them what they needed.
I’m Not Judging, I’m Saluting
I was at the pharmacy recently when this old woman came by wheezing and I could hear her oxygen tank and looked in her basket as she pushed past all of us and noticed she had her 6 pack of beer. When she got up to the counter they actually had to have an ID for her. Her granddaughter was next to her by then and was yelling at her what the clerk was saying while telling the clerk that she can’t hear anything the clerk is saying to her. Instead of being annoying at the long line and the old lady cutting through I appreciated the entertainment and admire the fact that all the shit that’s going on with her that the beer was probably going to be her moment of relaxation when she got home.
Charley For A Day
Back in December I needed to do some work around the house. I mean like real “guy” type work. I had to put up a medicine cabinet and some other things. So I put on one of my dad’s shirts that he had given me before he passed away and then the Swafford Construction Company jacket with his name on it. I became “Little Charley” and was able get all the man type stuff completed.
The reason it’s a big deal is because my dad was an expert, especially when it came to cabinet making. He owned his own construction company most of his life. I thought it was especially fascinating when he was going all over the MidWest putting stores in shopping malls that he had the contracts for like KB Toy & Hobby stores. Those fixtures were built in the shop below our house while I was in high school.
The point is that he was a skilled professional with tools while I on the other hand was only skilled at being a tool and running my mouth. Physical labor was not part of my skill set.
As a matter of fact when I was in high school I worked at the radio station and at the same time I also worked at Blairs Furniture to get work credit in the COE program at school. I was hired when I went in to interview with Bill when I was only 15 years old and Bill had basically retired already and Allen Dale was the manager who went on to buy the store later. For some reason Bill interviewed me though and I’ll never forget that process. It loses it’s effect in words because any Bill Blair story lacks he’s grouchy slow unfiltered delivery.
Here’s the scene of my interview….
Bill is leaning up against a used washer in the back part of the building. He was holding what seemed like a metal strainer of some sort and was twirling it with his hand. He was a big guy and already was many years past his prime with white hair for the hair that he had left and was squinting through glasses that seemed to be years beyond their prescription. He would subconsciously grab the frames with his free hand while squinting at me. Something that I would come to recognize over the years I knew him. The interview dialog went like this…
Bill: What’s your name again?
Me: Mike Swafford
Bill: Whose your parents?
Me: Charles and Rose Swafford
Bill: Ok, God Damn It I know who they are then. Do you have your license yet? (This was in April)
Me: Not yet I should get it in June on my birthday.
Bill: All right God Damn it come in on Tuesday and Allen will put you to work. We’re closed on Monday.
So what does this have to do with my dad and my lack of carpentry skills? Bill would have projects at his house or rental properties and he would get a wild hair and come by the store and take me with him to do something. I never knew what it was going to be. Bill would show up unannounced and say “Allen, I’m taking Swafford with me for awhile. Go get in the car boy” I never worried about being abused because he was far from being a predator type. However, I would be lying if I didn’t say the thought crossed my mind that I might be going somewhere to dispose of a body. (Although, Bill has been gone for many years and statute of limitations should be expired by now I still find no reason confirm nor deny any accessory I may have been to any activity legal, illegal or otherwise)
I would get in his Cadillac all 127 lbs and 5 foot 7 inches and wonder what the hell I was going to be asked to do wherever it was he was taking me. The most vivid memory was typical of his expectation that since my dad was Charley that surely I had some carpentry skills. He had to have figured if nothing else it accidently was in my bloodstream through genetics. This was not the case and I was always worried he was going to be asking me to do things I couldn’t come close to doing like hold a board in his hand wanting me to use an electric hand saw to cut it and I would surely slice off his arm and the saw would probably bounce back and start skipping across my forehead like some 3 Stooges scene gone terrible wrong. However, the vivid memory I had was having to crawl under this old house he had just bought in Lexington. Since I was just a scrawny ass kid I guess he figured it would be easy for me to fit in there where I was quite positive there was a rattlesnake den next to a beanbag sized batch of spiders eggs in front of the hornets nest that must have been behind the pipes I was supposed to crawling under and around. This particular task was for me to get under there and take some shards of fiberglass insulation with my bare hands which immediately felt like they had a thousand paper cuts on them and find a hole that he was sure was in the foundation under the house about the size of a quarter that I needed to fill with this insulation in my hands. The trouble was (among all the other things) that there was a gradual slope under the house toward where he thought the hole was. So while the place I got under the house was was about 18 inches high it shrunk to about 5 inches where I was supposed to find the hole and put the insulation. Bill’s a big guy so he had to rely on me to do it and I was having trouble because I was starting to get wedged between the bottom of the house and the ground. “Jesus Christ just crawl up there a little further. God Damn it boy can’t you squeeze up there a little more?”
That scene didn’t require carpentry work but it’s my most vivid with Bill regarding that kind of stuff. The other stuff that required carpenter work just involved memories of “Well God Damn son. Are you sure you’re Charley’s boy?”
Stitches Involved
Many years ago when “Billy G” jumped into the pool at the Electric Springs Apartments in Warrensburg, Mo. he did not realize that the pool went from about 12 feet deep to about 3 feet deep in a span of about 5 feet. Therefore when he dove in the pool and came up with blood dripping from his forehead he calmly looked at his friends and stated that “There will be stitches involved.” He was correct. It has since been one of my favorite lines particular when I see those terrible sports injuries on TV that give me the chance to proclaim the statement that there will be stitches involved. This was the warning next to the hot tub at our hotel in Rochester Mn. while I was at the Mayo Clinic. I felt they were really trying to get their point across by not only showing the red lightning bolts near their neck but the pool of red blood by their head. I can’t help but think that if they had this kind of sign at Electric Springs years ago the phrase may have never been created.
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